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This fascinating programme is teaching Americans the strange and peculiar practices of the UK justice system. Behold! The pompous judges in their 18th century attire.
The tea-whiskey they drink while shouting “Guilty!” at Dickensian children who live in chimneys and wear clothes made from soot. Those Brits are double rainbow crazy. Watch this show while shouting “Cor blimey guvner, mother-dye chicken eyebrow!!!” at the top of your lungs.
If, like this young man, you’ve ever felt the burning desire to transform your mundane human form into the superheroic slendour of Ultra Seven (a Japanese superhero for those not in the know), then the Kinect is for you.
Don’t settle for some cheaply made costume with stomach pads from the local supermarket, instead use the virtual power of augmented reality and even execute his lazer-firing power. Hoooo!
Have you heard about that new movie coming out with Natalie Portman, where she’s a ballet dancer who loses her mind? Yeah, me neither. But there is one and it’s got a Portman/Mila Kunis cud-munching scene.
Starting to sound a little more intriguing now, huh? Well, don’t bother going to see it, got that sex scene for you right here. How’s that for money saving ideas over the festive season? Happy perving.
They were always onto a winner with this show. Take some cute wild animals going about whatever it is wild animals do, usually eating or moving their mouths just waiting for the BBC to come along and dub some silly voices over the top.
Hey presto you have a Saturday early evening filler and the only real cost is that Twitter-pervert Jason Manford and his Charlie Big Spuds paycheck. Oh, and remember to get shots of meerkats, standing. People go absolutely screaming nutzoid, lol-their-own-face-off for a standing, talking meerkat.
Even superheroes can be a total git at times. They go around blowing stuff up, usually no one cares because it’s Gotham City, and we all know they’ve got bags of money so they can rebuild it ten times over, but when they go around blowing up Ken Barlow’s local. Well.
And not just blowing up the pub either but letting Commissioner Gordon use the Tumbler to completely wreck a fictional town in Greater Manchester, destroying the inhabitant’s lives. You wouldn’t get Superman doing that. Shame on you Bruce. Shame on you.
Ah yes, the noble cause of highlighting the disgusting genocide of an entire people by a barbarous and fascist state. The systematic murder of millions of men, women, and children.
And then taking that, and practically farting in its lofty eyes by making a funny-voiced musical out of it. This time it’s Ralph Fiennes’s Nazi butcher Amon Goeth who gets the whimsical treatment. Lawl.
So, TRON: Legacy’s coming out in case you hadn’t noticed the trailers flooding the internet at regular intervals. And it seems like Disney has used every opportunity possible to merchandise everything they possibly can, from light-trail-leaving mouse pads to keyboards to women’s shoes.
But, all of that woeful garbage fades into neon trails of insignificance compared to this: the Tron Lightcycle. Come one, don’t be all cynical and mature, you don’t need to be a fanboy to appreciate this. It’s all fun and games until you career off the road and crash into the school bus, ending in a fireball that they can see in the next state.
Ahhh, Christmas, a time when families come together and enjoy the goodwill of the festive season, snuggle up inside their homes and feel safe from the elements and danger of the outside world – WRONG!!!
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the moment when it comes to decorating your home in the Christmas period. But did you know that 400 families get attacked by Christmas decorations every festive season. And that’s just in Wyoming.
