Nicholas Cage has never been a favourite actor of mine. Because, well, he can’t act. He cannot act. Not only is he thespianically challenged, but also intensely annoying. This, as you can imagine, is a film which attracts my interest.

A 4 minute trailer for a feature film with Cage losing his mind? I’d book in advance, front row seat and stock up on gargantuan amounts of popcorn. That’d serve him right for ruining The Wickerman. I’m not happy till I see him in a straight-jacket

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It really looks like standards have been slipping on this hit cooking program recently. That’s right it looks like it has come down to a fatty, a baldy and a hairy. Lets see what they have created for the judges to eat?

Still the proof is in the pudding and you should never judge a book by it’s cover – I’m sure these freaks of fine cusine have something ’special’ on offer to tease our tastebuds?

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There’s something inifintely eery about ever-encroaching birds. They’re unpredictable, unavoidable and have an ability we can only dream of. Not even pleasant looking ladies in lovely driving scarves should feel safe from scratching claws and sharp beaks.

But imagine these women’s chagrin when they are instead faced by smooth oval predators. Expressionless, cold shelled killers change from potential breakfast and perfect prank missile into eye socket filling pre-bird monsters. Chilling.

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I feel so sorry for this man. He’s such a nice chap, and he’s probably a good vet. He means well, so well, and yet he always get it wrong. There’s a famous scene where he kills a man’s prize fish. And another where he puts down the wrong Border Collie.

Then again, I think this woman deserves it. Feeding her little pooch all that rich food…just ain’t right. And that house – she’s one of those absurd posh women who have no grip on reality. Well, get a grip on singed canine hair and the smell of smouldering dog flesh. Breath it in. And never ring that Vet again.

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Usually when someone tries to rap over something, or does an ‘experimental version’ of something it makes it approximately 400 times worse. In this case, someone has managed to make something that is already awesome, even more awesome.

And if you look carefully on the youtube comments, it would appear that someone from the film itself is showing his appreciation. Fight back that tears all you like, but we all have to admit – this pulls at the old heart strings harder than Shane Meadows ever could.

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I have always disliked Nicholas Cage. Always. It’s the way he delivers his lines, how he plays the same character in every film he does and his face is just so…punchable. And now, we have this footage to prove he’s a money grabbing bastard as well.

There is nothing this man won’t do. Not content with ruining the old classic Wickerman, Cage is hellbent on doing any naff film idea under the sun. Whether it destroys the reputation of his career, or tarnishes the image of the film itself, as long as the money keeps coming – who cares? Long live crappy Nick Cage.

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Sozzled, tipsy, wankered, pissed, three sheets to the wind, bladdered, drunk. Whatever you call it, we all like an evening on the old sauce. And sci-fi guys are no different. They may look different, but whether you’re in Lord of the Rings, in Space or in your front room in Manchester – alcohol transcends all life and existence.

And which narrow-minded fool is content with Earthly concoctions anyway? This video makes even the most exciting cocktail look drab. I want to try some ‘wake-up juice’. And not to mention that weird Dragon goo. There’s so many dimensions of drunk yet to be discovered!

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They seem all cuddly and chubby, sitting around all day on their bums munching bamboo. But this is what Pandas are actually capable of. Despite ‘Panda’ food looking nothing if not a bit dodgy, you’d definitely go for it if you were faced with 5 foot of fur and muscle.

These types of ad campaigns are always successful. Funny, repetitive and with a good central character. It’d make you want to watch programmes to see the latest development in the ad in between. And what do we have? An annoying Go Compare tenor and a talking Meerkat. Great.

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