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When you’re fighting a crazy autocratic freak with a face that looks like it’s trying to escape from itself, then you have to make do with what you can to remove him from power.
And because the Libyan rebels have been hit by arms shortages, and NATO aren’t willing to properly stick the boot in, they make do with the best of what they have: forging their own weapons from scraps.
This crazy explorer left over from Britain’s colonial days when we’d bullwhip foreigners for their insolence and stride across strange lands to bring them the joys of scones, proper manners, and queuing, raps about the brown liquid that fuelled the empire: tea.
British people love a cup of tea, they love it more than their dear old mums, they love it so much while slaughtering savages in unholy lands they’d pause mid-battle to drain a brew.
The special effects master, Freddie Wong, teams up with the epic meal guy to make epic special effects. So you get a storm of guns raining down, planets taking up the sky, and lots of cool cars and helicopters.
It all adds up to a pretty awesome street, the sort of street where Chuck Norris might own a house, except his street would definitely have the lesbians in the sky.
The big society, huh? How about that. Volunteering yourself to do the jobs you should be getting paid for because the government wants to save money, while keeping themselves at the top of that money pile.
Hypocrisy never seemed so easy. How do the Tories do it? They’re masters of looking like complete posh shits.
You know it’s Christmas when the epic meal guys build a house made from the succulent flesh of a smorgasbord of slaughtered animals; including bacon, bacon, sausages, bacon, ham, pork meat, bacon, beef, bacon…om.
Just remember many animals were necessarily killed to feed these gluttonous meat-eating monsters. The New Year can only hold metabolic self-destruction, ruptured hearts, and solidified intestines for these brave men and women. Let’s hope they continue their honourable search for death by fast food seppuku.
Who the hell decided to proclaim that breakfast was the most important meal of the day? F#ck that, sleeping in is definitely the best food your brain & body can possibly have after a very long night of abuse from various toxic substances: PERIOD!
BUT, for some of us (yes, it’s not lies!), there is the small problem of ‘WORK’, which however you try, cannot be ignored (after all, that’s what pays for more nights of abuse!), so a well balanced breakfast suddenly becomes a necessity.
