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Eminem’s lost his way a bit hasn’t he? That whole sleeping pill addiction must have really hit his career hard. When he was away, not making albums, I assumed he was recovering to come back stronger than ever.
Alas not, he appears in his latest music video to be a shadow of his former self. He’s so intoxicated, in fact, his accent is slurred beyond recognition. The music’s suffering as well. Poor Slim Shady. Get well soon.
They seem all cuddly and chubby, sitting around all day on their bums munching bamboo. But this is what Pandas are actually capable of. Despite ‘Panda’ food looking nothing if not a bit dodgy, you’d definitely go for it if you were faced with 5 foot of fur and muscle.
These types of ad campaigns are always successful. Funny, repetitive and with a good central character. It’d make you want to watch programmes to see the latest development in the ad in between. And what do we have? An annoying Go Compare tenor and a talking Meerkat. Great.
Jesus Christ. If it’s not the Pope or one of his aides then it’s the bloody Bishops who are saying outrageous things. Slandering the Queen, Mother Teresa and saying strange nonsense ain’t going to win you any votes with the aetheists.
But I suppose these folk can say whatever they like cos God’s on their side. They can promote aids and deny scientific evidence til the cows come home. God’s like the best top trump card. You just can’t beat him.
It’d be good if all office photocopying was as light and airy as this. Ahh – just look at your stress, floating away in perfectly formed, soft shapes. I imagine this is what it would be like being God’s secretary.
It’d be cleaner as well. You know that unmistakeable inky stain you get on your hands after reading the newspapers or a good session at the photocopier? Well replace that with conditioned, spongey palms. Lovely.
Who knew there were so many different ways to snap your fingers ey? The first guy sets the tone with an almost angry passion for the ’snap diva’. And who’s the guy in the tie? He seems to be like a celebrity in that realm, interviewed for his age-old knowledge of the finger click.
The demonsatration is interesting as well. Calm, collected and thought-out…like Capoeira but standing up. Timing is excellent, precision elegant. But come on, what is all this…some kind of cult? Who actually does this? And the voiceover is even more disturbing; it’s as if it is trying to inculcate you into the strange world the video is trying to promote. 5 minutes watching this stuff and you’ll only be able to communicate via the medium of clicking your fingers. I think I’lll stick to speech.
Some offices go on team-building weekends to the Lakes where you have to go camping in a tent with Mike from accounts who’s the most boring blob of flesh in the world. Others go for post-work drinks to unwind.
Here we have an example of another stress-busting technique. And see what happens when you try and change things? People kick off. Trade unions aren’t there for fun, you know, workers have rights!
We have a snapshot of the future here. First, humans will become obsolete in the workplace as robots materialize as a far cheaper, more efficient option. Machines don’t need a fag break or have to go on facebook. They don’t bicker and whine. It just makes sense.
Then, creative things will be taken over. You won’t get writers or musicians or poets – lyrics and prose will be created from a meticulous word generating machine and pumped methodically from speakers. So. You better get used to this. Listen up and enjoy, cos the Bowies and the Pete Dohertys of this world are to destined to be replaced by nuts and bolts.
Since it’s been touted as some of the best drama ever made, I guess The Wire is now trying to conquer the comedy market. Probably due to low funds or laziness, however, producers have clearly resorted to regurgitating old scenes, with a cheap laughter track added.
You’d think with all that success they’d be able to re-shoot the whole series and make it into a sitcom. This is what happens in a recession – unemployment and poor television. I think I’ll stick to the original.
