Posts on Facebook ruining your life? Maybe not now when you’re young and carefree but when you want that top job at Goldman Sachs selling the blood of innocents for The Man then you won’t be so cool about it.

The solution? Post more. And more. Post all the time every day, all day, all year until you post so much you’ve not seen daylight in eons and you look like Howard Hughes’s toe nails at his most reclusive. Then they’ll never find your celebratory posts about poking the Duchess of Cornwall with a stick.