Here’s a “What If…” to ponder in those quieter moments of your day: What if those Jersey Shore guidobags spoke their particular vein of English in the style of Oscar Wilde? In fact, don’t ponder it because this video does it for you.

If it proves anything it’s that if you speak in a posh voice while dressed in the finest fashion from the mid-19th century, it could just be stream of consciousness foul language or even an ass burp, it’ll still sound theatrical.